There is something sacred about the moment you realize you are no longer who you once were. I had one of those recently, looking back at the woman I used to be and barely recognizing her.
I remember standing in my laundry room at 11pm, clothes everywhere, scrolling my phone to disappear because I was so overstimulated. That was my normal. The perfect mother who packed the lunches. The wife with dinner on the table who never complained. The woman everyone could count on. Underneath it, I was running on fumes and pretending I was not.
I was reacting from my wounded inner child and did not even know it. He would leave a dish in the sink and I would snap like he had betrayed me. It was never about the dish. It was a little girl inside me who never felt noticed, still waiting to be seen. I played small. I swallowed the thing worth saying. I lived almost entirely in my masculine, powering through, treating rest like something I had to earn. I would sit on the floor with my daughter and my mind was three tabs away. The worst part was that I knew it while it was happening.
One day I sat with it instead of blaming everyone else. And I saw it. I was the common denominator.
That was the moment everything changed. Through the breath, through the mirror, through dancing alone in my living room for no reason but that my body wanted to move, I unraveled. I remembered. I became. Now I pause instead of snapping. I take the photo. I wear the outfit. I speak up. I am breaking patterns simply by refusing to hand them down.
Here is what I know. Healing yourself heals your children too. When you finally say yes to her, your whole life rearranges around it. You are your own best bet in this life. And I will show you how. 🤍